Self Esteem Issues

I realized this weekend that I have serious self-esteem/image issues. It stops me from enjoying myself. I can't remember the last time that I just let loose and had fun. It's good to be composed, but at the same time you need to be able to have fun too without worrying about the way that you look. I thought that my appearance didn't bother me as much as it used to but I realized that that isn't the case. A good self image is so important for a person to have. With confidence you can do so much. Low self esteem keep you from going out and doing things, or seizing the moment. I hope that one day I can get over it. I actually want to learn how to put on make-up now, maybe it would help me a little. I don't mean excessive make-up but just enough that it looks natural. Maybe I'll feel a little better about myself then. I never wear any make-up.

On Sunday I went to the Diwali Mela at South Street Seaport and I got Raghav's autograph. I wanted to ask him to take a picture with me and I know that he would have been willing to take it but I didn't ask. I had the perfect opportunity and I chickened out. At first I kept telling myself that it was because I didn't have anyone to take the picture for me but that's no excuse because I could have at least tried to take the picture myself. That wasn't the real reason. It went deeper. It was because I felt like crap about myself and I was worried about the way I would look in the picture. Who cares? If it came out bad I didn't have to show anyone but at least I would have had it. At least I went and got his autograph though, right? My cousin was supposed to go with me but she didn't feel well and ended up staying home. I wish she went with me though. I know she would have made me take the picture with him lol. I think I would have had more fun if she went with me.

I took a bazillion pictures of him. I'll post some of them when I get a chance.